Feb27 Day4 Swimming Pool

Woke up with a heavy mood - attached to my own suffering ?
Today I need to get on with tackling all the tasks that
have accumulated.

Breathe/meditate to lighten up.
First day back at the pool. In the spirit of being kind to myself, am I even going to try to swim 3 lengths underwater (LUW) ? Feels like a setup for failure.
I feel very fragile; fighting off contraction and smallness like they're my default state. I go with openness toward doing the underwater swim, I may or may not.

My sunburns don't scream as I get into the hotpool - they feel OK. My skin feels bumpy, bubbly, pre-peeling. After lying in the shallows for a while, I feel lovely and warm for the first time since coming back to the sub-arctic...
I breathe/meditate/emanate peace and love from a place of crunchiness seeking peace.
All at once, there it is; I feel myself settling into calm peacefulness.
I think about what D. said about emanations rippling their effects far beyond the
immediate surroundings. I'm not feeling quite so expansive or sure about my ripples.

Time to swim, or go home. I answer the question of LUW with a gentle YES.
More breathing and quiet stillness in the big pool, and then I'm off. I'm in such calm for #1; my mind chirps a few times during #2 and I make a klutzy turn, but I'm solid for #3 and finish strongly. I consider some kind of vocal celebration, but just give myself a quiet YES! as I hang quivering on the end.

I notice my knee while breaststroking; as I did while surfing; can't remember where it got bonked...

The quena sounds pretty cool in the raquet court. I really want to learn a few Peruvian melodies. My fiddle is a bit out of tune - this rarely happens...
I tweak it and play a few things but my fingers don't quite hit all the right
places. I settle in for Lake Isle Waltz... I think about A. fiddling in the jungle.